Welcome to TalkingWise

Hello, I’m Dr Torna Pitman — social worker, educator, author and founder of TalkingWise

 

 

 

 

 

 

For over twenty years, I’ve worked alongside people navigating complex and painful relationships. I’ve spent much of my social work career trying to make sense of something many of us feel but struggle to name — the way language, tone, timing, and conversational habits can be used to confuse, silence, or overpower us.

That work led me to coin the term Conversational Control, and to explore how it underpins something even more serious: Coercive Control. My book, Tangled Web of Words: A Breakthrough Guide to Conversational and Coercive Control, brings these ideas to life through real-world insight, clear frameworks, and accessible language. It’s written for people working in social services, education, health, justice — and for anyone trying to untangle what went wrong (or what still feels wrong) in a relationship.

I no longer offer private counselling. These days, I focus on teaching, writing, and sharing the practical tools I’ve developed over the years. You’ll find videos, podcasts, and resources here on my website to help you understand what’s happening in your conversations — and what’s really driving certain patterns of interaction.

I believe that when we understand what’s going on, we can begin to name it — and from there, change becomes possible.

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